It’s not unusual that in some relationships, the woman feels that her marriage is going fine while her husband feels otherwise. How could two people in the same relationship have different feelings about how well their relationship is doing? That’s because men and women have different love language and different needs. And more often than not, those differences go un-examined and ignored, leaving people who started off loving each other becoming a couple who resent each other or are annoyed by each other.
Today I’m going to address the needs of he-who-is-the-husband.
Not all husbands need a lot of space. But it’s worth taking a look at this concept of “space” in a relationship. Some husbands want their wives to be right beside them all the time, involved in everything together. Others need some time to themselves to recharge, work on things or simply be themselves with their friends without having a partner by their side.
The first thing we women need to understand is that when the men want space, it is by no means a signal that they have run out of love for us, or that they are sick of us or that they can’t stand us. Different people enjoy being different versions of themselves. Some men might love being a husband and dad who sticks to their family, goes everywhere together and does everything together (like my late beloved father and my husband) while some men simply miss their time to chill and be “a guy” with their friends like they used to before we women came into their lives. It’s not that they don’t want us in that part of their lives, maybe they just treasure the way things are with their buddies and do not want to mess it up by always bring their wife along. Some men like to be in their own thoughts, without having constant company. They might like to go fishing or hiking alone to recharge themselves.
Understand the level of space your husband needs, respect it and gift him that much needed space. It won’t make him drift further away, instead he will feel understood and it might give him a much needed recharge.
Do you ever wonder why there are more female sex workers that cater to male customers than there are male sex workers who cater to female customers? That’s because men are more into sex. Something in their biological genetic make-up programs them to need, want and enjoy sex MORE THAN the average female does.
Understand this, most men can’t live without sex but most women can.
Why does such an imbalance exist?! I have no idea. But since there is an imbalance, we might as well take note.
So now that we know what they need, it is up to us women to find that perfect balance with our partner of how much sex is perfect for one’s relationship. Too little sex will make the husband suffer, too much sex will make the wife suffer. So as a couple,
- talk to each other openly about the expectations of sex
- hug and kiss more to feel connected and close, this will naturally lead to more sexual attraction and therefore nurturing a healthier relationship
- spend more time alone together, without the kids, housework or your phone
Something that every man wants in a relationship that he is serious about is trust from his woman.
Trust is one of the most valuable gift you can give to a person. Naturally, anyone would want to be trusted by the most important person in their life. So not only trust him, but show him that you trust him. And he will be a very happy man in a relationship.